Balled Up On The Couch
Sunday, Feb. 08, 2004 // 2:02 pm
Okay, so I went to the dance with Brittney last night. On the way there, we listened to Bob Marley, no choice or anything. I love Bob.
I was jumping around, touching Michael's hair, making people laugh, downing bottles of pop and before you know it, I'm banned from the YMCA and crying in a small dark office with two adults in my vision. I apparently was being stupid and obnoxious and threw a ball at a kid named Ian. Little did I know that his father was chaperoning. Ian told me to come with him and I screamed that I was not going to.
All of my friends just stayed on the bench as the adult and two kids approached me. He yelled at me to hurry up and follow him as I badmouthed to him. Brittney, Marcy, Tabbitha and Jessica stayed at the bench as I begged them to follow me.
They took me into that small office where I called Brittney's mom to picked us up. Then the guy was yelling at me, telling me he almost called the cops on me. I was totally crying and they didn't even fucking care. Even though I was being stupid for what I did, the least they could do is comfort the crying child.
Then he put me down like I was inhuman, a punk. He thought I was a punk. He asked me if I thought I was so cool. I lied to him, and shook my head. The next time they catch me at a YMCA dance, they are calling the cops. Ian's father left and a mother stayed with me for awhile. I explained to her that I have emotional problems, but her being ignorant, she blamed it on the teenage years. She left me alone as I stared out the window where I could see everybody, even my friend.
Then, I saw my crush Michael walk by. I knocked on the glass with my ring and he demanded to the lady to know why I was in there and they wouldn't tell him. He looked concerned. I never thought he would give me the time of day to actually stop and look at a crying girl.
As we drove home, it was silent. I was crying the whole time and as soon as I got to Brittney's house, I grabbed my stuff and went upstairs and cried on her bed. No sympathy from her. No hugs. I really needed one.
And I don't even know why I cried. Really no reason, I just don't like being threatened and being put down like that adult did. I've been doing really strange things lately. The whole drinking thing, shaving my head and now this? I don't even know why. I don't have enough reality in my life. It seems like everything is dream and I need to shock myself to get woke up.
Brittney forgives me. I wonder if anybody will know. My mother still doesn't know. Brittney is in the shower, I'm unclean and we're going to church in awhile for her meeting. I'm just tagging along.